You can be a Mom, and still be You.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you just forgot who you were?
I’ve had a few of those moments in life. I remember one after a breakup and another few after having children. Now, I don’t really remember the specific day or circumstances during motherhood, just that I’ve woken up some days or probably multiple days and thought, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Maybe that’s a result of getting married and having kids at a young age. Maybe not. I don’t think it’s uncommon for us to feel confused about their identity now and then. You have heard of a mid life crisis, but I think we can have mini identity crises from time to time. These mini crises can propel us into a season or time of reevaluating where we stand on our identity, values and beliefs. These times of self reflection can be healthy if we know how to navigate these waters on firm footing! Our identity ultimately comes from Jesus, but different seasons in life bring about different likes and dislikes, priorities, activities, opinions.
In other words, we can change. Not only that but we WILL change. I guess we might as well just go ahead and embrace that fact and celebrate the process. I listened to a Bob Goff podcast yesterday that articulated this concept SO WELL. The gist of it is that each season of life reveals a new version of us because we grow and evolve. I was air fist bumping Bob as I drove down the interstate feeling so affirmed. “YES, thank you Bob! I totally agree!” If Bob says it, it must be true, right? HA!
So, Bob and I think that on this earth we will all be many different versions of ourselves. Yay, that is fun! It’s really exciting if you think about it. It means we can ALWAYS grow and change and we are NEVER stuck! That is great news, especially if you’re in a hard place today.
I’ve been recently in a HUGE season of transition and change and just evaluating what I’m doing, where I’m spending my time etc… I’d love to share some things that have been REALLY helpful to me as I’m learning to reorient, recalibrate and just give myself space to grow.
Journaling with Jesus. When I journal, I usually sit down and give myself permission to just write, process, to get it all out. I envision these journal sessions as a conversation between me and Jesus. I know that He already knows my every thought, so I might as well just tell Him how I feel, what I’m scared of, what I’m excited about, what I’m dreaming of and everything in between. I ask questions and listen. I write what I feel or “hear” in my spirit. Sometimes I get direction and discernment and sometimes I just feel lighter having processed with Him.
Creative outlet. Another avenue that has helped me immensely is having a creative outlet or activity that allows me to connect with the me that God created. Not Mom Abby or Wife Abby or Friend Abby. Just Abby. Art, writing, exercise and being around horses are my main “creative outlets” but yours might look like cooking, dancing, playing an instrument, going to see a play, trying a new hobby, starting a business, knitting, sewing… Get creative - the main thing is to let out your inner child without judgment and connect with your Creator!
Connect with friends. Hopefully you have a friend or two who know the real you. Most of us have at least one person who knows us to our core - who understands how we are wired and what makes us tick. Sometimes we need reach out and ask those safe people to speak into whatever we are struggling with. You know who they are. They are the ones who will listen without judgment or interruption and don’t repeat what you say. When we are questioning big things, we always turn to Jesus first. But, allowing trusted friends to listen as we process feelings can certainly bring relief and connection.
Certainly this is not an exhaustive list, but it’s a start! I’d love to hear from you on the ways you embrace change and process life transitions!
XOXO -
