Mean Mama - Why I’m ok allowing my kids to experience discomfort.
𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 is a natural part of life.
A very necessary part of life.
Today, as I watched my younger girls take a horse back riding lesson and listened to two of my other children grumpily complain about heat and bugs and being bored, I found myself thinking about the lessons they are learning in this discomfort. Contrary to how our culture operates these days, it’s not a bad thing for my kids to be outside, to be hot, sweaty, swatting bugs off, away from screens, air conditioning, and entertainment. It’s healthy for them to be in environments that are not focused on them.
Kids today (mine definitely included) are used to a constant flow of entertainment. I certainly don’t have to elaborate on that for you to roll your eyes, raise your hands and give me an “Amen, sister.” We all get it. As painful as it is to hear the dreaded, “I’m bored MOM!” boredom is actually a good thing. It’s even a REALLY good thing.
When we live in a constant flow of activities that are all about US, how can we learn patience? Where do we allow room for imagination to come into play or for creativity to spring up? Will we miss out on the experience of finding true joy in cheering someone else on and investing in their success.
When I keep these truths in mind, I become more muuuuuch motivated to cart my kids around on errands, take them to appointments, let them attend each others sporting events. I have kids that are old enough to stay alone, so it’s certainly easier on me to leave them at home staring at a screen. But easy isn’t always best.
We don’t cart the whole family to every single event. However, we do intentionally take them to a lot of events that aren’t about them. And yes, they whine and complain. It’s frustrating and painful to listen to, but even in the disgruntled attitudes, I remember that they are learning valuable life lessons. They’re developing habits, traits and beliefs that will define their future. We are hopefully laying down a layer of selflessness one day at a time. I imagine each little lesson, experience of waiting, or heart talk about attitude is like adding one more pebble to the foundation that will one day support a vast building that is their character. They’ll carry it with them forever. So, aside from teaching them about Jesus, teaching them strong character is probably the greatest gift we can give them. It won’t happen overnight. We can only get there one day, one lesson, and one pebble at a time.
Kids don’t often appreciate what we as parents do for them in the moment. It’s not that they are bad, it’s just part of being a kid. But, even though they may not be able to appreciate what we are teaching them today, we still do it right? We do it because we know that one day they will appreciate it. And that has to be the driving force of our parenting decisions. The future. We know that we must make decisions today that will impact their tomorrows.
So today, even though this morning was grumpy and I could have left the others behind, I’m feeling good about dragging them out in the heat to watch their sisters find joy in riding a horse.