Pioneer Parenting in 2022
If you are parenting a teen in 2022, you are a pioneer.
Social Media is making adolescent struggles like body image, identity, and sexuality exponentially more challenging for teens. As parents today, we are in uncharted territory. We are the ones paving the way and figuring this out.
Recently, God has been breaking my heart for what today's teenagers face.
The enemy is using media in all forms to scream at our kids.
He's screaming,
- Your parents don't really love you.
- You are unseen.
- They don't care.
- You are invisible.
- No one would miss you if you were gone.
- You don't belong anywhere.
As parents of these teenagers, most of us are exhausted, stressed, and worried.
We have little to no margin.
We work all day to provide and then drive them around all afternoon, getting them to activities. We come home, eat dinner while standing in the kitchen, and go to bed exhausted - and we wonder what is wrong.
I am so guilty of this and first in line to seek the Lord for wisdom about our schedule.
"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?" Mark 8:36
Here’s where it gets really frustrating - Most of us are trying to keep up with technology and monitor our kids' online behavior, yet our kids are STILL being exposed to sexually explicit material even in the strictest of homes.
As a Christian parent, I have always wanted to raise my kids to be different from culture. I know to do that, God's word and our family values must be louder than the voice of the world and culture.
But how? How can we impact this generation when the voice of the media is so LOUD?
The message of the day is that if your kids don't participate in all the things, they will be left out and left behind. So we keep going. We embrace a life where we are never at home, always on the go. We fill in even the tiny gaps with other activities and distractions, and I don’t think it’s working so well for lots of us. We can’t parent well from a place of exhaustion, because we weren’t meant to live at this pace.
Back to social media - Coming from someone who struggled with body image and disordered eating all through my college years, I can't imagine how much worse it would've been if I had had to look at Instagram and VSCO, and Pinterest every day. It doesn’t take much scrolling through your kids Instagram, tik tok, Pinterest or snapchat to see that early sexualization is everywhere. From provocative poses and clothing to open discussion of highly inappropriate and explicit topics happening in plain sight, we are watching it happen right before our eyes. I’m seeing good kids making tik toks to songs laden with profanity, posting selfies making gestures I truly HOPE they don’t know what mean. If you aren’t looking at your teen’s phone and social media, you might want to take a few hours and deep dive. Even if they are not the ones posting it, they are still being exposed to these toxic messages.
It breaks my heart that more and more girls are developing eating disorders in elementary and middle school, but are we surprised????
It sickens me that kids are learning about and engaging in sex and oral sex earlier and earlier. They are being exposed to what I'm told is unfathomably disgusting, violent, and traumatic pornography despite our best efforts. Most of them see this filth one way or another well before they are 18.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Jesus, help us.
All I know right now is this;
We have to pray.
We need the Holy Spirit.
We cannot afford to be distracted.
We must initiate tough conversations, ask the hard questions, and protect them as much as we can while not keeping them locked in a cage. It’s a tall order.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
I don’t think there are any easy answers regarding kids and technology, but I do know that there’s an evil agenda out there at work. I want to make sure that I am stewarding and promoting God‘s agenda for my family and my children.
I have seen myself even recently get sucked into compromising what my spirit knew because of the desire for my kids to be accepted.
However, I am convicted and not condemned. When the Holy Spirit convicts, He makes a door out.
I'll be the first in line, asking for wisdom, praying God's word, and ready to admit when I've made a judgment error. There is no way to do it perfectly. This is why we have the Holy Spirit, but as a church body and community, I think we have to do better, and we need not fight this battle alone.